As I mentioned in my last entry, I love the book “When God Writes Your Love Story” by Eric and Leslie Ludy. A statement by Leslie in the book hit me with the force of a freight train. No, a few freight trains at once. She writes an imagined dialogue between herself and God. God says of her concern about finding a husband, “…can you also believe I am the God of all creation? I know you better than you know yourself, and I am perfectly able to bring this man into your life in My own time, in My own way…and I don’t need you.” “I don’t need you.” “I don’t need you!”
It had never occurred to me that God did not need my help to bring my future husband to me! In other areas I had already told God, “Yes, I know you can handle this far better than I can; I know you can do it without me. You only choose to use me because you can.” In some areas I am still struggling to do that. Yet it had never crossed my mind that the area of my own romance was an area in which God does not need my help!
After reading this statement, I wrote it down in a notebook and thought on it very hard (I could not underline it because it was not my book!). This has always been the most personal part of my life. Was I to let God control it? It was not as if I had been holding it back consciously; it simply had not occurred to me that He wanted involvement in it. I want to honor God in my relationships, do His will, and respect His guidelines, but I had always thought it would be up to me to find the person He planned for me.
No! Instead, God has told me through Leslie Ludy that He does not want me to be searching for a life partner. He wants me to wait on Him, to wait expectantly but not impatiently for Him to bring that person straight to me. He wants me to love Him with my life before I try to find someone else to love. I am completely unneeded in the process. The only thing God needs me to to do is do nothing. If I concentrate fully on being a godly woman, someone Christ is honored to have as part of His bride, the Church, then God will bring me someone who will appreciate who I am in Christ.
What pain I am spared, what heartache and bewilderment I will avoid! Such a stress reliever it is that I do not have to concern myself with looking for a spouse. God will bring him to me in His time, in His way, or not at all; whatever is His plan. What blessed joy there is in feeling unneeded!